Make no mistake. Beliefs are decisions, and we choose our own beliefs. There’s nobody sitting behind you with a gun pointed to your head telling you to believe certain things. There’s nobody threatening to kill you if you don’t believe you are not good enough, incapable, and not up to the job.
Nobody’s forcing you to be miserable. I know that that’s an uncomfortable thing to hear because we’re human beings. We’re trapped in a prison of weak flesh and we would love to have somebody or a situation to blame.
You choose your beliefs and these are the foundation of your reality. They are the lenses which you used to filter out reality. That’s what you use to read reality. They’re not forced on you. You’ve voluntarily assumed them. You always have a say.
How do I change that?
How do you fight back against your toxic beliefs? It all boils down to being more critical. This doesn’t mean that you have to turn into some jerk or asshole but it means that you have to be more skeptical.
I’m not a religious person, but this notion is even mentioned in the bible: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways.” – Isaiah 55:8
Don’t think things have face value. Somebody might say something is right or true, but filter that information through your experience. Use your logical reasoning facilities and start to question everything you hear or think. Is this true for me? Do I actually believe it?
Unfortunately, many people are lazy because if somebody we know, who we love and respect says something or make a truth claim, we are more likely to pick up on what they say and assume that it’s true.
Why? In the back of our heads, we filtered that person as someone who experienced many things and as someone who has achieved credibility and authority in our mind so why do the heavy work and be skeptical of what they say?
Basically, you transfer the time, effort, and attention to detail that you invested in developing that friend or mentor to their claims. This is a problem because people make mistakes all the time, and everyone has a different experience going through life.
People say the stupidest things all the time and if you were mentally lazy and adopt what they say wholesale and absorb it, there will be problems. Maybe they’re saying something that’s true to them personally, but it’s not some universal truth that applies to all people across the board.
The next thing you need to do is to stop assuming. Don’t be afraid to look at first principles. If somebody is saying a big claim, don’t be afraid to look like a fool and say, “Hold on, what do you mean by this and by that?”
Thoughts are constantly flowing, they come and they go, obeying their own laws, not yours. And if you become aware that you are not your thoughts, the impact of those thoughts will began to diminish.
“The power of your thoughts lies in the fact that you think they are yours.” – Osho
Do not be fearful of challenging your own beliefs, it can lead to true transformation and evolution. In life we are always learning. But equally as important, we must unlearn that which does not agree with us anymore.
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~Wishing you success!